Thankful for Toddler Tantrums??

Our Mercy girl!

I think over the last two weeks I am more emotionally exhausted from the temper tantrums that my 3 year old has been throwing than everything else I do in my life COMBINE! We have been dealing with Mercy’s wonderful and expressive emotions over the weekend and it has been taxing on ALL of us!

She is my first 3 year old girl and I must say that she is quite different than our son Judah. I have come to realize that when she enters into the overwhelming cloud of her emotions there is no rational or logical answer to her problems. She is simple exercising her WILL in hopes that she will get whatever she wants. UNFORTUNATELY for her, we do not give her whatever she wants so she gets upset and tries to find other ways to get her way; yelling, crying, spitting, screaming, tell me she “hates having time outs, they are boring”, throwing items, you name it, she tries it! I have been reminded by many wise mothers that “this too shall pass” and that it is important to remain consistent and eventually she will learn. I am beginning to wonder if “I shall pass-out!” before she gives in:)

Somedays I wonder why she is still fighting? It seems as though she is hoping to accomplish something…but what? By the end of her tantrum she often doesn’t even remember what she was upset about in the first place. My son wasn’t like this, he would cry over something realize he couldn’t have it and then move on. This is different. This is really hard.

I am reminded of my life as I watch her flail her arms and cry about something that really isn’t that important. Do I ever do this? Maybe not physically but emotionally and spiritually do I tantrum? Are there things in my life that I want so bad that I will do whatever I can to achieve them?

I remembered a situation recently where I thought a certain situation was going to work out in my favor but in the end it was delayed and fell through. I was angry and frustrated. I complained to the Lord, whining about all the implications of this situation and the concerns that I had. I basically had a spiritual temper tantrum and then finally got over myself! Since then I have been thinking about the importance of a verse in the Bible. It is in the book of Thessalonians 5:16, it says “Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”. I felt like reading this was like a spiritual spanking. Who do I think I am trying to complain and argue my way out of situation that God has allowed to come into my life? What was I hoping to achieve?

Just like my Mercy, her situation was out of her hands but rather than choosing to obey she wallowed in her sadness, self-pity and anger. Anger turned outward is hostility and rage, anger turned inward is self-hatred. Rather than obeying the Lord, being joyful, prayerful and thankful I was complaining and grumbling. I apologized and asked God to give me a new heart one that was grateful and trusting. Since then the situation has taken a turn for the best and hopefully in a couple days it will completely resolve itself. I love how my kids reveal mysteries to me every day by their actions and behavior. I suppose I should be thankful for Mercy’s tantrums because they have proven to be opportunities for me to learn and grow;)

Do you ever experience personal temper tantrums? What are some ways that you can avoid having them? What are some practical ways to be joyful, prayerful and thankful?

I pray that you will enjoy a day of peace and confidence in our gracious God. May you know the deep love He has for you. May you have the grace you need to be His hands extended to your family today!! Blessings!

Praying for Relationships

Relationships are complicated! There is NO easy way around it. Every person is different and the dynamics of relationship are delicate. I have been seeing this fleshed out in the small relationship between my two oldest children, Judah, 5, and Mercy 3. They are two completely different children. Their personalities, social tendencies, emotional abilities, and cognitive understandings are worlds apart. Their gender, their age and most of the things they enjoy to do with their time is different. As you can imagine this has caused some major conflict in our household. We have had several disagreements, yelling fests, name calling, hitting, and teasing! When this first began, I was worried. I thought that I wasn’t doing a good job as a parent and that I needed to MAKE them see eye to eye on everything. I could not have been more wrong.

I was reading in the book of 1 Samuel about the relationship between Jonathan and David, and God spoke to my heart and told me to start praying for my children (all of them) to cultivate relationships like this. I felt like there is a higher standard of love that our children can have towards one another. It doesn’t come from me forcing them to connect but a rather through a deeper spiritual connection enforced through prayer. Jonthan and David were two very different people. Jonathan was the prince of Israel, supposed to one day become king and David was a shepherd who was looked down upon by this family. Their upbringings were different, their interests and their futures. There was potential for jealous, envy, greed, bitterness and all sorts of other things to come between them. However, I believe it was God’s Spirit that united them and allowed them to engage in a relationship like no other.

1 Samuel 18:1 says “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself“. This is profound! This is Biblical. We are called to love our neighbours as ourselves. My children have the opportunity to love each other as they love themselves. My job is NOT to force that but rather to pray, guide and instruct. PRAYER is the most effective tool, I pray that God will give them this unique and divine relationship in which they would lay down their lives for one another.

Rather than feeling frustrated I am ferverent in prayer. I choose not to look at their shortcomings or get upset with their bickering, instead I declare unity and love to be the foundation of their relationship. I recognize their differences but those are no longer excuses for their relationship. I believe that God can knit their hearts together and I trust that in His time He will allow it to happen.

Do you pray for the sibling relationships in your family? Do you believe that God can give them amazing relationships?

May your children embrace one another today. May you have faith to believe for His will in their lives. May you experience the joy that comes from watching your kids grow to love one another as you pray for God to bind their little hearts together! Blessings!

Simple is Beautiful!

Atirah enjoying some summer sun:)

I have been finding more and more that keeping things simple can be the most enjoyable for our family in this season in life. There are days when I try to overcomplicate and overplan activities. I believe the lie that a full timetable equals fun for my kids. Time and time again I see the negative outcome that this has on my kids and my ability to lovingly mother them. When I try to create lots of activity I find myself tense and stressed out, I am tired and really unable to spend quality time with the family – NOT WORTH IT IN THE END! Lately we have been trying to do activities that are close to home and have little preparation and clean up. We go for short walks, meet friends at the park, water the gardens, have a snack picnic, read books together outside, run in the sprinkler and work on puzzles. It has been refreashing for me and for the kids to give up my “busyness mentality” and embrace a more simplictic outlook on life. I find I am able to enjoy my children and their cute-little-selves when I am relaxed. We speak kindly to one another and I sense a deep joy that wells in their hearts for eachother.

May you be encouraged in knowing that striving and accomplishing tasks for your kids does not increase your value as a mother. I would liken it to this example; many times I try to get my kids to eat more nutricious food. Judah will tell me that we wants a hummus wrap but I feel the need to add veggies. So I will cup up lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, make a side dish of carrot sticks and offer it to him as a more complete meal. While it definitely fills up the plate, I he will still end up only eating the hummus and the wrap, leaving all my hard work behind. I feel frustrated and disappointed when all the while he only asked for hummus and a wrap, I am the one who tried to complicate things! Your children want YOU not all the activities. Yes, adding does enrich their lives and there are times for that but remember the most important thing you can do as a mother is be present in their lives:)

May you embrace the simplicity that each day bring. May you take in the sweet moments of beauty! This season is so short lived, enjoy every minute!!!

 

A Passion for Family!

I am so excited to finally be writing a blog! It seems like ages since I have been able to have enough time to gather my thoughts and express them through the keyboard on this computer. Life with 3 little ones can, at times, be a blurr. Someone is always needing mommy and I have felt the need to take some time away from the blog in order to refocus and realign myself with the purpose behind it. I am currently working on switching over this wordpress blog to a website called Passion for Family. Let me explain:)

Photo Credit: Expression Photography

Our Children – the fruit of our labour!

The Lord has been really impressing on my heart the importance of having vision and purpose for everything I do. Initially, I had started this blog to honor mothers as they pursue the important calling of motherhood/homemaking. Over the past year I have felt God nudging me to make it more about family. I felt like he has been showing me that the family is the fabric of society. Because there is such a breakdown of family in our culture we are loosing touch with God’s orignial intent for the family unit. As a result we are seeing a breakdown in society. I desire to help bring clarity and refreashing to families through these words.

Photo Credit: Expressions Photography

Our Family – the greatest gift on earth!

Through much prayer, I have decided to change the name of the blog to PASSION FOR FAMILY. This is my heart for the site. PASSION is defined as the object of an intense desire, affection or enthusiasm, a powerful or compelling emotion, strong affection or enthusiams towards a concept. I AM PASSIONATE about families!! I feel like there is so much that has been stolen from the family and I believe that it is God’s heart to see families healed and restored!

After being married for the past 8 years and having 3 children I now realize that the family is the training ground of everything in life. As I raise and nurture my children in our family I am instilling in them all of the skills that they will need for their lives as adults. I desire to bless and encourage families across the world. Whether you are single or married, dreaming of having a family or already have a large family, whether you homeschool or not, whether you work or stay home, this blog is desired to enrouage you.