Relationships are complicated! There is NO easy way around it. Every person is different and the dynamics of relationship are delicate. I have been seeing this fleshed out in the small relationship between my two oldest children, Judah, 5, and Mercy 3. They are two completely different children. Their personalities, social tendencies, emotional abilities, and cognitive understandings are worlds apart. Their gender, their age and most of the things they enjoy to do with their time is different. As you can imagine this has caused some major conflict in our household. We have had several disagreements, yelling fests, name calling, hitting, and teasing! When this first began, I was worried. I thought that I wasn’t doing a good job as a parent and that I needed to MAKE them see eye to eye on everything. I could not have been more wrong.
I was reading in the book of 1 Samuel about the relationship between Jonathan and David, and God spoke to my heart and told me to start praying for my children (all of them) to cultivate relationships like this. I felt like there is a higher standard of love that our children can have towards one another. It doesn’t come from me forcing them to connect but a rather through a deeper spiritual connection enforced through prayer. Jonthan and David were two very different people. Jonathan was the prince of Israel, supposed to one day become king and David was a shepherd who was looked down upon by this family. Their upbringings were different, their interests and their futures. There was potential for jealous, envy, greed, bitterness and all sorts of other things to come between them. However, I believe it was God’s Spirit that united them and allowed them to engage in a relationship like no other.
1 Samuel 18:1 says “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself“. This is profound! This is Biblical. We are called to love our neighbours as ourselves. My children have the opportunity to love each other as they love themselves. My job is NOT to force that but rather to pray, guide and instruct. PRAYER is the most effective tool, I pray that God will give them this unique and divine relationship in which they would lay down their lives for one another.
Rather than feeling frustrated I am ferverent in prayer. I choose not to look at their shortcomings or get upset with their bickering, instead I declare unity and love to be the foundation of their relationship. I recognize their differences but those are no longer excuses for their relationship. I believe that God can knit their hearts together and I trust that in His time He will allow it to happen.
Do you pray for the sibling relationships in your family? Do you believe that God can give them amazing relationships?
May your children embrace one another today. May you have faith to believe for His will in their lives. May you experience the joy that comes from watching your kids grow to love one another as you pray for God to bind their little hearts together! Blessings!